Earning the Right to Be Wrong by Earl Nightingale
The most important subject a person can learn, I suppose, is how to get along well with others. And one of the most important rules in mastering this most difficult subject is knowing when to be wrong, even if you’re right.
There is no more exasperating human being on earth than the one who insists upon being right all the time. This is the person who feels that to be wrong, or not know the answer to something, means, at least for the moment, the end of the world.
I was spending some time with friends in Arizona some time back. One night we were going someplace in the car and my friend’s father was driving. We came to the road where we should turn, and seeing that our driver was going to go blithely by the turnoff, both of us suddenly told him that this was where we should turn. It caught him by surprise; he suddenly braked the car and managed to make the turn, not easily, and as he did so, he said, “I know. I know this is where we turn.”
Now, the fact of the matter was that he had not known. It was apparent to everyone in the car, but he was just one of those people who simply cannot admit there’s something they don’t know. My friend winked at me. But later he said, “I wish Dad would admit once in a while that there are things in the world he doesn’t know; I wish he would admit he can be wrong like the rest of us.”
How much better it would have been, how much more human a person he would have been, if he simply smiled and said, “Thanks for telling me. I’d have gone right on by.” This would not have diminished him one whit in our eyes; it’s perfectly human to make mistakes or not know something. But his actual response—his obvious cover-up and attempt to make us think he had known about the turnoff—did diminish him in our eyes. It caused us to feel sorry for him, and it pushed him a little ways out of our circle of companionship.
The worker who insists upon always being right is disliked by his associates, his subordinates, and his boss. He’d be much better off to make it a point to be wrong once in a while and say so.
The smart manager and executive knows the value of being wrong occasionally, even when he’s right. There will come times when he’s going to have to insist upon being right, so he can afford to graciously give in when it comes to small and unimportant matters.
In Nation’s Business, it is suggested that before you tell a subordinate that you’re right and he’s wrong, ask yourself exactly what’s to be gained and what is to be lost by deflating him. It might be a small matter to you; it could mean a complete loss of face to him.
Giving in is also better for your health. Dr. George Stevenson of the National Association for Mental Health says, “Even if you’re dead right, it’s easier on your system to give in once in a while. And,” he added, “if you yield, you’ll usually find that others will, too.”
Try it with the members of your family. You’ll be amazed at how it cuts down on the number of arguments and the way you’ll find other people suddenly saying to you, “No, I’m wrong and you’re right.”
It’s a whole lot better to say you’re wrong, even when you know you’re right, and get along well with others than it is to insist you’re right at the expense of being disliked.
Known as the “Dean of Personal Development,” Earl Nightingale was a Gold Record-winning radio broadcaster who dedicated his life to encouraging people on their journey to joyful, purposeful living. This is an excerpt from Nightingale’s Your Greatest Asset: Creative Vision & Empowered Communication, which contains some of Nightingale’s most inspiring broadcasts on the subjects of brainstorming, problem-solving, decision-making, goal achievement, and interpersonal communication. It is available tomorrow from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, Porchlight Books, and other fine retailers—preorder your copy today, and sign up here to receive free Nightingale-Conant book samples!