Dealing with Family Drama by John Martin
The mental and emotional toll of family drama can be mitigated by understanding on an intellectual level the complicated dynamics of any and every family. Imagine the layers of emotion involved with the psychology of birth order, individual personalities, spouse’s personalities and backgrounds, and then add family traditions, religion, parents’ personalities and backgrounds, and children and siblings’ individual personalities.
By understanding these numerous layers and variables, you can take everything that occurs lightly rather than becoming instantly insulted or hurt. Let go of family baggage and disputes—they are always going to happen, hopefully more infrequently as you grow older. The reality is realizing that family is a combination of unique individuals who lived (or currently live) in the same house, and all your experiences at home with your siblings and your parents, perhaps grandparents and aunts and uncles too, add up to the way you see and handle family and other relationships today.
If divorce, death of a parent(s), or separation was part of your childhood, it can be even more complicated. Or there may have been preferential treatment given to one sibling. Maybe it was you who was favored. Maybe there was a rivalry within the family between sisters or brothers or uncles or parents, etc. Try to see each situation with the perspective of understanding the complicated dynamics of your family and be forgiving, or at least patient. It is highly likely, given the variety of circumstances, that family relationships will be challenging.
If you are part of a family who get along well and with whom you can converse and enjoy a few hours together on weekends and holidays and help each other out in life, you are blessed. Consider your family a success if you are not always fighting or if you still all speak to each other in a friendly manner and stay in touch. Many families are not so lucky and it is no wonder why. Grasp the truth behind the incredibly complicated dynamics of relationships in today’s society and you will be on the way to adopting a perspective of grace when dealing with your family.
This is an excerpt from John Martin’s forthcoming book, Choose Your Perspective: 7 Tips for High Performance through Intentional Thinking, which will be released by Sound Wisdom on December 17, 2019. You can preorder your copy now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, Porchlight Books, and other major retailers.