Five Solutions to Get Unstuck and Gain Fulfillment by Adrean Turner

My grandmother used to say, “Just because you’re moving doesn’t mean that you’re going anywhere.” She then remarked, as she was sitting in a rocking chair, “You see, I’m in motion, but my position isn’t changing.” That is often the case for most individuals who find themselves dissatisfied in the workplace or their home lives. They are “doing things” but not accomplishing goals that enable them to move forward. Do you wonder why it is that our lives rarely change, even when we’re miserable? 

The answer may very well lie in the way we think. In fact, it’s proven that there are effective forces within our minds that conspire to keep us stuck—so much so that we don’t even realize it’s happening. 

If you sometimes feel like you’re running in mud, discover these reasons why you may be in a rut and what you can do to get unstuck: 

RUT 1: You’re uncertain about what you want. Indecisiveness is a major factor affecting individuals’ ability to achieve success. If you think you might like to be a psychologist but also think becoming a writer sounds interesting, you’re stuck. At some point, it’s necessary to make a clear decision and set a goal. Begin by answering these questions to identify your talents and interests: 

• What are your natural gifts and abilities? 

• What would you do if money weren’t an option? 

• What books, shows, or music do you most enjoy? 

• What are you passionate about? 

RUT 2: You lack knowledge necessary to make a change. You might know that you need to be more confident, but you might also lack the knowledge of how to develop confidence. Figure out the skills needed for you to realize the change you desire in your life. This may involve additional training, developing new professional relationships, volunteering, or even taking a lower-paying job. Then create and implement a plan to achieve success. Change is not about being perfect; it’s all about effort.  

RUT 3: You lack willpower or fail to use it effectively. Willpower is limited, but it’s great for creating new habits and behavioral patterns. Sticking with a task after the urge to quit surfaces can develop willpower. Implement these exercises to increase your self-control: 

1. Eliminate as many choices as possible. We all have a finite store of mental energy for exercising self-control. The more choices we make during the day, the harder each one is on our brain. Therefore, making fewer choices helps us make smarter choices. 

2. Make choices in advance. It’s easier to make smart choices when a decision isn’t right in front of you. For example, decide now what you’ll have for breakfast tomorrow. Or determine now what you will do tomorrow to increase your productivity. It’s important to conserve your mental energy for the decisions that really matter. 

3. Do the hardest thing you need to do first. You have the greatest amount of mental energy early in the morning. Decide what those things are and tackle them before anything else.

Use your willpower to develop small habits that can grow into useful routines. 

RUT 4: You can’t deal with being uncomfortable. Anxiety, nervousness, and fear are great for preventing you from jumping off a ten-story building. But they are barriers when it comes to getting unstuck. It’s often said that the only constant in life is change. To overcome limiting beliefs try these techniques: 

• Consider the “harm” and the opportunities associated with the change. For example, you won’t die from giving a speech. But you can improve your professional presence by doing so. Use the logical part of your brain to override your primitive instincts. 

• Implement stress relievers to lower your levels of discomfort. Meditation, prayer, and exercising are a few that can be beneficial. 

• Break down tasks into manageable chunks. It’s important to see the big picture, but you don’t have to do everything at once. Start small and push through your discomfort. Your ability to handle the bigger and scarier situations will grow with experience. 

RUT 5: You give up too quickly. Most people don’t achieve change because they drop out before they graduate to the next level of success. Change not only takes effort, but it takes time to see the fruits of your labor. Most likely, 80 percent of the change you seek won’t reveal itself until at least 80 percent of the work is done. Although your early efforts show little results, recognize the things that are happening behind the scenes. Perseverance is the key to realizing meaningful change. 

To change your life, change your priorities and understand the roadblocks preventing you from moving forward. Many people live like a feather blowing in the wind, never having a true direction. It’s important to choose your destination. Leaving things to chance is choosing not to use your power. Set new goals and reinforce them. Each day, rewrite your goal and imagine how you’ll feel when you accomplish it. They’ll become a priority over all the other noise in your head. And eventually you will enhance your ability to bring about fulfillment. 

You have everything within to have an AMAZING life and career.  All things are possible! Just keep going! 

This post originally appeared here on www.coachadrean.com. Get more information and inspiration in Adrean’s book, F.I.T. for Success: Fearless, Inspired, Transformed for Success. 

Four Reasons Why Emotional Intelligence Is the "Secret Sauce" to Transformational Leadership by Jennifer Janechek

In Season 21 of ABC’s The Bachelor, one of the contestants, Taylor Nolan, became infamous for her continual references to “emotional intelligence”—namely, in telling her fellow contestant Corinne Olympios that she “lacked the maturity and emotional intelligence” to be with bachelor Nick Viall—bringing to the forefront of cultural awareness a concept that has long been considered crucial for personal and professional success. In her lecture to Corinne, Taylor explains, “It kind of speaks to self-awareness,” which is true in part, but it is more relational than that simplistic definition implies. 

(Photo from Pop Culture Sensation)

In his new book The Solutions-Oriented Leader: Your Comprehensive Guide to Achieve World-Class Results, Dr. Rick Goodman defines emotional intelligence (EQ) as the “ability to perceive and identify emotions in the workplace and in your relationships with others…being attuned to the emotions of the people around you, but also to your own emotions—and making your decisions accordingly.” 

If you’ve ever wondered what that certain je ne sais quoi is that distinguishes truly great leaders from mediocre ones—that quality that makes them dynamic, engaging, motivating, and that enables them to deliver results—very likely it is emotional intelligence. Goodman shares four reasons why EQ is the “secret sauce” to transformational leadership:  

1. “EQ can help you cultivate employee engagement and retention.” 
   Today’s job seekers and employees want more than good pay and decent benefits; they want the engagement that comes from feeling like part of a close-knit community. Being able to identify and respond appropriately to your employees’ emotional cues will help make them feel like valued team members, which in turn will improve recruitment and retention.  

2. “Leaders with high EQ better understand how their employees derive satisfaction.” 
   Success looks different for different people; as such, not all employees will be incentivized by the same factors. Goodman explains, “Having EQ will help you identify these specific drivers for each employee and build a workplace dynamic that provides everyone with necessary motivators.” 

3. “EQ can assist in team building, too.” 
   In order to build a cohesive, well-performing team, according to Goodman, you need to know how to “structure a team that allows everyone to play to their unique strengths.” EQ will help you determine what these strengths are and how to channel them in a way that maximizes the potential for effective collaboration and optimal productivity. 

4. “EQ can help identify your employees’ management styles.” 
   Being able to assess employees’ emotional needs and personalities and knowing how to match them with employees and mentors well-suited to those needs and types will aid in employees’ personal growth and professional development.  

Interested in learning how to cultivate your emotional intelligence? Pre-order your copy of Dr. Rick Goodman’s The Solutions-Oriented Leader: Your Comprehensive Guide to Achieve World-Class Results, available from Sound Wisdom on April 16, 2019.

Dr. Rick Goodman is one of the most sought-after thought leaders and keynote speakers internationally specializing in leadership, engagement, and business growth. As a serial entrepreneur who has built several multimillion-dollar businesses, Dr. Rick walks his talk and shares his winning leadership philosophy with his audiences based on lessons learned as one of the team physicians for the Super Bowl champion St. Louis Rams and his association with other championship teams like the NBA champions Miami Heat. 

His mission is to introduce his transformational leadership and team-building formulas and systems into 10,000 businesses worldwide, A few of Dr. Rick's clients include Heineken, AT&T, Hewlett-Packard, Ultimate Software, Inova Health Systems, and Franklin Templeton Investments. 

He is the founder and president of Advantage Continuing Education Seminars (ACES), one of the largest online continuing education companies in the world. He is a distinguished member of the National Speakers Association, the Global Speakers Federation, The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) and the Florida Speakers Association. 

Stalking the Elephant by Jim Stovall

Many people would claim to believe that anything is possible, but when it comes to their own life, career, and success, they don’t believe everything is possible.  

The concept of anything being possible is random and ethereal. It includes ideas such as “I might win the lottery,” “We might get hit by a meteor,” or “If I’m lucky, I could get the perfect job and meet Mr. or Miss Right.” In these examples, believing in anything being possible assumes that the outcome is not within our control but it’s possible. On the other hand, when we believe that we control our destiny and our fate is in our own hands, we understand that everything is open to us based on the choices we make and how hard we want to work.  

I am an entrepreneur and run a small business called the Narrative Television Network. Due to a lot of hard work by our team, we landed a contract to do business with one of the largest corporations in the world. Many well-meaning, well-intentioned, and knowledgeable people would assert that a little company from Oklahoma with less than ten employees couldn’t do business on a level playing field with a multinational, multibillion-dollar giant. In reality, if they believe it’s impossible in their circumstances, they are right. If I believe it’s possible for our team, I’m right.  

Success is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In my book The Millionaire Map, I explain that if you want to be successful, you need to surround yourself with a group of people who have what you want. I call these people your Dream Team. I’m a firm believer in being willing to be turned down or rejected by the very best. At the start of any endeavor, if you will simply believe that everything is possible and open to you, you can list the candidates for your Dream Team.  

When we started the Narrative Television Network, we had no background, training, experience, or resources in the industry. When I asked myself, “If I could have anyone I wanted on my Dream Team to advise and assist us, who would I pick?” The answer was as simple to me then as it is now. Ted Turner. When we got involved in the financial planning and investment arena, the potential Dream Team member I listed first was Steve Forbes. When we got into the field of leadership training, the first name that came to my mind of someone I wanted on our side was the legendary Coach John Wooden. When my novels began to be sought for movie projects and I was looking for people on my Dream Team, I thought of people like James Garner, Peter Fonda, Raquel Welch, and Academy Award-winner Louis Gossett Jr. I am pleased to report that each of these special people has contributed and continues to contribute to our success. As ancient wisdom tells us, “You have not because you ask not.”  

As you go through your day today, set your sights high, and you might just get what you aim at. 

Today’s the day!  

This and other motivational pieces by bestselling author Jim Stovall can be found in his latest collection of columns, Wisdom for Winners Volume Four, an official publication of the Napoleon Hill Foundation to be released in January 2018.  

Spring Training for Organizational Success by Sam Silverstein

While visiting and working in Florida, I had the opportunity to attend the St. Louis Cardinals’ home opener spring training baseball game. Spring training is a great time both for the players and the fans. Everything starts new in spring training. Fans have renewed hopes of their team winning the World Series. Young players have renewed aspirations of moving up in the organization and possibly even making the Major League team.  

But a lot has to be accomplished before decisions are made on who will make the Major League team and who will continue to play in the Minor Leagues. 

There are many goals that need to be addressed in spring training. The players are working to get in everyday playing shape. Management is evaluating talent. Pitchers are developing new pitches that they are willing to try when the games don’t really matter so that they are ready when the games do matter. And, even though the games don’t count in the regular season standings, the organization’s leadership is working to develop the drive to win. Winning is a habit that has to be nurtured inside of everyone and inside the team as a whole. In essence, they are learning how to compete.  

During drills, the players have a lot of mini competitions. They discover momentum. They learn what working together as a team feels like. This is the time to master what happens between the players and their relationships in addition to the physical skills involved in playing the game. One without the other will leave the team short of reaching their potential.  

Leadership is looking at how players interact in relationship to each other; evaluating if the values of different players line up with each other and if they will fit together on a team. Teamwork isn’t created by assembling the best players on a single team. Teamwork is about assembling a group of people who share a common set of values and who commit to living those values with each other. That is not only teamwork but accountability in action. 

It is the same in any business or organization. There are the skills necessary to perform the tasks, deliver the service and create the products, and there is the environment where everyone works. That environment, or organizational culture based on a set of values, will determine the level of performance that everyone is able to achieve.  

You can assemble people with the best skills, but if you don’t put equal time into creating a winning organizational culture, you come up short. It’s the transactional side of businesses, the skills, and the relational side—the teamwork, camaraderie, trust, and respect—that when focused on equally, allow an organization to be at its best because people are then positioned to be at their best. 

Sam Silverstein is dedicated to empowering people to live accountable lives, transform the way they do business, and create a more accountable world. He helps companies create an organizational culture that prioritizes and inspires accountability. His most recent book in the No More Excuses series, No Matter What: The 10 Commitments of Accountability, is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, 800-CEO-READ, and other fine retailers. 

8 Ways to Improve Your Leadership Skills by Adrean Turner

Today’s organizations are struggling to recruit and retain valuable employees. Employee engagement is less than 30 percent in most industries.  

A leader is NOT born. A leader is created, and the whole process starts inside the most dangerous place you’ll ever encounter—your own mind. How can you become a strong leader who inspires others, drives people toward excellence, holds people accountable, and instills a sense of trust? Learning what makes a great leader is your first step.  

Here are some things you can do to become the leader you’ve always wanted to be: 

(1) Control yourself. Every great leader in history has had to become a master of self-discipline and willpower in order to stay focused on the big picture. If you don’t have a goal or the drive to achieve it, you can’t lead others to attain theirs. 

The man who cannot control himself, can never control others. Self-control sets a mighty example for one’s followers, which the more intelligent will emulate. ~ Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich 

(2) Follow through in everything you do. As challenging as it may be, you need to be disciplined enough to be where you need to be, when you need to be there, whether you want to or not. By being strong in your resolve and resisting temptation to give up, you are setting an example for others to live up to. 

(3) Choose your emotional response to a situation carefully. Sometimes you’ll need to practice the art of silencing your inner thoughts when they’re not appropriate in order to set a positive example. 

(4) Project your goals. If the people you’re leading don’t completely understand the deeper meaning in their work, they won’t share your vision or work ethic. Every step of the way, communicate with your team to make sure they’re on the same wavelength and know what you expect of them. 

(5) Get your team involved in the planning process and the implementation of your ideas. This gives everyone a greater sense of ownership toward the end result. 

A successful person finds the right place for himself. But a successful leader finds the right place for others. ― John C. Maxwell  

(6) Praise highly and criticize constructively. The way you praise and criticize others can make all the difference in being able to lead effectively. Make sure you publicly praise the people who do excellent work for you. You’ll give the person a sense of accomplishment and the drive to do even better. When someone does something wrong, offer constructive criticism and do it privately. Suggest solutions on how they can improve and take the time to answer any questions. They’ll accept your input more willingly if they know it’s done to help and not to harm. 

(7) Know your people. You can’t truly lead a group of people unless you truly understand their hopes, dreams, struggles, pains, and goals. All the good intentions in the world mean nothing unless you have a true sense of the people with whom you’re working. Getting to know each other on a personal level will strengthen the bond between you. They’ll want to do better for you because you’re more than just a “boss.” 

(8) Make the hard call. There are times when you have to bite the bullet and make some unpleasant decisions. Firing, demoting, and holding people accountable for their actions can be very hard at times. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to handle these matters.  

Regardless of where your leadership role takes you, believe that you can be a strong leader. Remember that in order to lead others, you must be disciplined yourself. After all, your actions will speak louder than anything you can say. In order to gain the respect of others, strive to lead by example in every area of your life.

This post originally appeared here on www.coachadrean.com. Get more information and inspiration in Adrean’s book, F.I.T. for Success: Fearless, Inspired, Transformed for Success.

Unleash the Power of Your Humor Being by Jennifer Janechek

In his new book Motivate THIS!: How to Start Each Day with an Unstoppable Attitude to Succeed Regardless of Your Circumstances, professional stand-up comedian and Speaker Hall of Fame inductee Steve Rizzo shares strategies for overcoming the negativity bias that’s programmed into us in childhood and retraining our brains to think more positively in order to reach our goals. One of the methods he endorses is “unleashing the power of your Humor Being.” According to Rizzo, your Humor Being is that part of yourself that enables you to access your sense of humor in order to thrive during life’s ups and downs. Rizzo defines “sense of humor” in a unique way, one that helps readers view it as an actual mental tool for reshaping their outlook: “a sense of humor means to be aware that you have a mental quality to turn your mind in an unusual way, or a need to produce joyful or absurd ideas that can soothe your being.”  

Pause on that idea for a second: a mental quality—to turn your mind—in an unusual way. It’s easy to dismiss advice like “laugh it off” as trite or perhaps even unrealistic—though to be sure, Rizzo never actually phrases it that way. But what Rizzo is offering here is much more profound, for he’s teaching readers how to reprogram their brains—actually setting into play physiological and neurological changes—so that they can shift (or cognitively turn) into a place of joy during times of stress, sadness, or frustration. Doing so generates positive energy that then enables them to focus on attaining their goals. Indeed, as Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter explains, “laughter releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which serves as a reward for the brain, creates a sense of euphoria, and plays a pivotal role in our motivation to continue the behavior.” 

So how can you unleash the power of your Humor Being? Here are some ideas: 

1. Find something to laugh about as soon as you wake up in the morning. This will set a positive and energizing tone for the day. As Rizzo notes, though, it’s important to continue to employ your sense of humor throughout the day. 

2. If you’re feeling stressed or upset, take time to observe your surroundings and identify something humorous. Finding a reason to chuckle will initiate electrochemical reactions in your brain that will help you feel better physically and emotionally. 

3. If you can’t find levity in your immediate surroundings, use your imagination to envision humorous scenarios. 

4. Share inoffensive GIFs and memes to enliven your workplace and mitigate both major and minor tensions there. As Rizzo suggests, laughter significantly boosts employee productivity and morale. 

5. Help yourself deal with stress or negativity and recharge your battery by carving out time to go to a comedy club or watch a funny sitcom or movie. 

These practices will help you get in sync with your Humor Being, improving what Rizzo terms your “humor insights,” which will activate during difficult or mundane times and help motivate you to conquer any obstacles and actualize your dreams. 

How do you use humor to motivate you? Do you have any strategies for accessing your Humor Being other than those listed above? Share in the comments below!

The new and expanded edition of Steve Rizzo’s Motivate THIS!: How to Start Each Day with an Unstoppable Attitude to Succeed Regardless of Your Circumstances is now available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and other fine retailers.

Do You Believe in the Power of Love After Sixty? by Darlene Corbett

Many years ago, a lovely client showed me a bracelet her husband had gifted her for a special occasion. Inscribed was a beautiful quote by Robert Browning sent to his beloved Elizabeth Barrett Browning. 

I never forgot the words: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. The last of life for which the first was made.” I could not imagine something lovelier, and I was only 30–31 years old at the time. 

Love in the Second Half of Life 

If you find yourself in that second half of life, think about the beauty of such a statement. Truly, this is the part of the journey where the rose has fully bloomed as a result of the seeds sowed in the first half. 

Love at this remarkable juncture can be more passionate and fulfilling than ever imagined, even for those who experienced it in days gone by. 

Valentine season is all around us. For those who recognize the magical ingredients of love, do not forget that it is not only for the young. 

Many sexagenarian women have listened carefully to wellness experts and subscribe to a healthier lifestyle. As a result, in comparison to their predecessors, they are living longer and more fruitful lives. 

Because they remain vibrant, many women continue to yearn for love and passion at this later season of life. And why not? 

I know three lovely ladies in their 60s who believe in the possibility of later love. All three have been divorced for over a decade. Here are their stories. 

Belinda and the World of Online Dating 

Belinda, a generous, attractive woman, left a very abusive relationship. After healing over the course of many years, she has courageously ventured into the feckless world of online dating. 

With aplomb, Belinda has navigated the unpredictability of dating new people. Although she is frustrated and may take a hiatus, Belinda is determined to continue her pursuit of love, and as I remind her, deservingly so.

Maeve and Her Younger Man 

Maeve, a beautiful woman, was emotionally starved during a ten-year marriage. Her withholding and somewhat mentally abusive husband left her. Finally recognizing she deserved better, Maeve opened herself to love. 

At the beginning of her voyage into the world of the unattached, she met a younger man who asked her on a date, perceiving her to be much younger than 52. 

When Maeve declined and shared her age, he was incredulous about her desire to engage in the act of love and boldly asked, “You still want to do it?” Well, actions speak louder than words, and yes, Maeve not only wanted, but did it. 

Over the next couple of years, she became involved in two passionate relationships. Although those relationships came to an end, Maeve did not succumb to defeat. Now she is 60 and is still pursuing love with the right man and remains open to the possibilities. I say, “You go, girl!” 

Katrina and Meaningful Relationships 

Katrina is a lovely woman who continues to look for love after leaving a very unfulfilling marriage over a decade ago. She wanted to divorce much sooner, but her children begged her to remain in the marriage. 

Temporarily, Katrina acquiesced to their request. Once the children were adults, she was able to make the break. Since that time, Katrina has had two meaningful relationships. The last one, about three years ago, was with a man with whom she planned on spending the rest of her life. 

Unfortunately, as things are not always as they seem, neither are people. This man abruptly ended the relationship through a text message. Later, she discovered he was a charlatan. As we discussed, better to find out before a more permanent living or financial arrangement ensued. 

Katrina continues to be optimistic. Recently, she had a few dates with a pleasant man with whom she does not feel a connection. 

She realizes the challenge of meeting someone who might be the right fit. Well-intentioned relatives remind her of this difficulty and encourage her to give this man more of a chance. 

Katrina shared with me that she would rather take the risk of looking for a better match than settle for the sake of having a partner. As she is aware, I support her determination and courage to take the risk of pursuing her true heart’s desire, and wish her well.

Do You Miss Romantic Love? 

The Valentine season is a reminder of the importance of love. When pierced by Cupid’s arrow, the feeling of romantic love can be utterly exquisite and ageless in its scope. 

To experience this potency, some people will often chance the agony of unreciprocated love for the possibility of tasting such ecstasy. 

Legend states that Valentine performed weddings for soldiers forbidden to marry under the Roman Empire. If there is any truth to this, he obviously recognized and respected the wonder of love. 

Valentine’s determination to conduct the sacred ritual was so great it rendered the ultimate sacrifice for him. 

Do you believe in the power of love? What kind of love are you experiencing in your life? Do you believe in love occurring during the last stages of life? More importantly, do you believe in the possibilities? Please share your thoughts below. 

This article originally appeared here on Sixty and Me. 

Darlene Corbett is a keynote speaker, success coach, and licensed therapist who is committed to helping people become “unstuck” through visualization and scripting so that they can live their lives to the fullest. Her book Stop Depriving the World of You: A Guide for Getting Unstuck is available to purchase from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and many other fine retailers on November 20, 2018.  

Two Out of Three by Jim Stovall

One of the most questionable advertising, marketing, or promotional phrases is, “You can have it all.” You can have all of some things and more of other things, but you can’t have all of everything. 

Time, energy, and money are all finite resources. Wealth brings you choices, but the ability to choose “all of the above” doesn’t exist. I believe if you’re producing any product or service, your results can be fast, good, or cheap. You can pick two out of three, but you can’t have them all. If you want something fast and good, it will be expensive. If you want something fast and cheap, it will not be good.  

When you’re investing your money, you can invest for safety, liquidity, or return. There’s no right answer, and any of these goals will be appropriate for certain investors at various times of their lives; however, once again, you can’t have it all. If you want total safety, you will have to give up some liquidity and some return. If, on the other hand, you want the highest possible return, you will forego liquidity and safety; important decisions in your personal life, therefore, are not yes or no. They are top five or top ten type of decisions.  

We often overlook issues of health, family, spirituality, and well-being when we establish our priorities. All things being equal, more money is better than less money, but if you’re sacrificing your health or quality time with your loved ones for money, it is likely a poor bargain; we must, therefore, budget the things that are finite such as our time and money while prioritizing the elements of life that are infinite such as spirituality, well-being, and significance.  

A veteran airline pilot once told me that on a four-hour, coast-to-coast flight, we would be off-course at least three-and-one-half hours of the entire trip. Our lives are much the same way in that success involves a constant adjustment and precise management of all elements. We live in a high-definition movie environment, not a single-frame snapshot photo. The right priorities and percentages for me would likely be improper for you, and even if you have perfect balance today, it probably won’t fit for you next week, next month, or next year.  

Wisdom comes not only from making good decisions but in deciding how to decide. 

As you go through your day today, realize you can’t have it all, so get what matters most to you. 

Today’s the day! 

This and other motivational pieces by bestselling author Jim Stovall can be found in Wisdom for Winners Volume Three, an official publication of the Napoleon Hill Foundation

Living the Lottery Life by Shawn Doyle

I saw a news story the other night where a reporter on the street was interviewing people and asking them what they would do if they won the lottery. Many people said that they would travel or that they would buy exotic cars, a new house, or some other luxury extravagance. What I found most interesting is that when asked, “Would you stay at your job?” every single person said, “No, I would leave my job immediately.” That was every single person. 

This story really got me thinking about the psychology of the lottery. People often say that if they were to win those millions of dollars, they would finally be happy. But the big question is, why would that be? As the old saying goes, “Most people are living lives of quiet desperation.”  

Well, I have some good news and some bad news: It is highly unlikely that you will ever win the lottery—I guess that is the bad news. The good news is that you can begin to live the lottery life starting tomorrow. What do I mean by that? I mean that you can create your own life and win! 

1. Your job—If you truly hate your job enough to quit immediately upon winning the lottery, then guess what? You may want to think about the work that you do, because obviously you do not have a passion for what you do. First, mister, no one is making you do it. After all, you don’t have to work there. You could find another job. You could switch industries. You could find a new profession. 
   
   I was recently doing a full-day training program at a company, and when I asked one of the team members how long she had been with the company, she told me, “Fourteen years.” When I responded, “Oh, that is great.” She said, “No, it’s not. In fact, I have been here fourteen years too long.” I am a realist and not an idealist, and I know that you just can’t up and quit your job tomorrow. That is not realistic, and you do have mouths to feed and bills to pay. I get that. What I am saying is that starting tomorrow, you need to begin developing a plan for doing the thing that you have a passion for doing. The key, then, is to do something every day to move closer to that goal. You can work at your real job while in your spare time working on creating your dream job. There are many cases of people who have reinvented their careers and have ended up living very happy lives doing the work that they love. 

2. Your dreams—Maybe you dream of having a huge mansion. Maybe you dream of having a high-speed boat or traveling all over the world to exotic locales. I’m sure you believe that winning the lottery would help you achieve those dreams very quickly because the lottery would pay for them. But here is my question: What are you waiting for? Go ahead and start working on those dreams now instead of standing at your local convenience store buying twenty tickets and hoping that one of them is “the one.” Why not take some time today and write out your goals in every part of your life. Create an action plan and start working on it now. Find out what training and development may be available for what it is you’re trying to do, sign up for a college class, start learning a trade. Why not sit down today and figure out how you can have the home of your dreams; how you can have that boat; how, through your work and effort, you can travel the world to exotic locales without being sponsored by the Powerball? 
   
   You may think I’m crazy, but I also believe that if you achieve your dreams through your own hard work and sweat equity, you will feel much better about it than if somebody handed you a pile of cash that you really did earn. If you don’t believe me, there have been many cases of people who won the lottery, then a few years after winning lost everything and said that they were miserable because they felt like they did not deserve the money. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t turn down the money if someone handed it to me; I’m just saying I think you appreciate it more when you earn it and you worked for it. 

3. Your happiness—I hear people say this all the time about the lottery: that if they won, they would finally be happy. What if you never win the lottery? Would you never be happy? Are you not happy now? So instead of waiting for some random balls to come down the chute and change your life, why not figure out what would make you truly happy now? 
   
   I have often written that you are the architect of your own life, and I believe that. Take some time and analyze your life and figure out the things that make you happy, and those are the things you want to keep doing. Here’s a suggestion from the land of the obvious: if you have things that make you unhappy or miserable or that fill you with sadness and despair, change them, get rid of them, or do something about it. As far as I know, we only have the chance to live one life, and to me life is way too short to sit around and not be happy. You can decide how to handle every aspect of your life.  

So here’s what I want you to do: don’t stand around with your fingers crossed, watching the screen to see if your numbers come up. Instead, spend your time and energy creating your own lottery life, because the reality is it’s the only one that you can truly control.

For more business and personal development insight from Shawn Doyle, check out his titles from Sound Wisdom, including his Jumpstart Series, The Sun Still Rises, The Leadership Manifesto, and Two Months to Motivation.

How to Find Balance as a Work-at-Home Mom by Jennifer Janechek

These days there are a plethora of opportunities that enable mothers to stay in the workforce while remaining at home, which is fantastic. However, working from home as a mother of small children is no small feat. While I certainly would not dare say that one mom role is harder than another, being a WAHM can be a very trying position: in many ways, the WAHM is, in addition to being a working mom, a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), someone who is responsible for childcare and/or household duties at some point in the day. And in my experience, because you’re juggling these two positions as a WAHM, it is easy to feel like you’re failing at both. Below are some tips for managing the stress and challenges that come with being a WAHM. 

1. Wake up early. 
   The morning can be an incredibly productive work time. Try to wake up at least an hour before your children (unless they’re very early risers) and register an hour of work time in the quiet and calm of the early morning. 

2. Get the necessary childcare. 
   This is a biggie, and it was a difficult one for me to accept. When I first had my daughter and was doing freelance work, I struggled to determine whether projects merited the cost of additional childcare. I often (wrongly) decided that I could handle both the extra project and the childcare responsibilities, which always ended up being extremely stressful. I relied entirely on my daughter’s erratic nap schedule, so I was a nervous wreck every time a loud car would pass the house or the UPS driver would ring the doorbell. And there were days when she simply would not nap, something for which I could never plan. Once I started hiring sitters to come to our home in the mornings, I became a better worker, a better mom, and yes, a better wife. It’s important to note, too, that if you have a full-time telecommute position with a company, they might require you to have your child(ren) in full-time daycare outside of the house. 

3. Pretend you’re going into the office. 
   As a WAHM, I’m very busy and constantly tired, and, quite honestly, the last thing I feel like doing in the morning is fixing my hair and getting dressed (in something other than at leisure anyway). When I started finding myself going through the entire day in a tank top and sweatpants, I knew something had to change. I began pushing myself to practice more self-care and to prepare for the day as though I were going to work at an office, and the results were amazing: on days that I put myself together I felt so much better physically, emotionally, and psychologically, and I was immeasurably more productive. 

4. Set strict boundaries.  
   Real talk: this is really tough to do. It’s often incredibly difficult for husbands, friends, and family to understand that just because you work at home doesn’t mean that it’s easy for you to do chores during the day. Emptying the dishwasher, meal prepping, cleaning up around the house—these activities may not take much time on their own, but each little chore interrupts the work day, hampers productivity, and can add up to a significant loss of time over the course of the day. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do these things—indeed, part of the benefit of being a WAHM is that I’m able to take twenty minutes and throw dinner in the slow cooker before lunch. What I am saying is that you need to determine what you’re capable of doing in a day and set strict boundaries about everything else. For me, this means that I dedicate a specific hour of the day to household tasks—an hour when I don’t have a sitter and my daughter is awake, so I wouldn’t really be able to work anyway. As a WAHM, boundaries are key to managing your stress level; I can’t overemphasize their importance.  

Do you have tips for finding balance as a WAHM? Let us know in the comments below!

Jennifer Janechek is the director of content strategy for Sound Wisdom. She has her PhD in English literature from the University of Iowa and her MA in English from the University of South Florida. She is also the founder of The Work-at-Home Mom Blog, which provides inspiration and community for moms who juggle work and parenting simultaneously. Her writings can be found in Entrepreneur, The Good Men Project, and many other publications.

I Spy a Sale by Jennifer Gluckow

Remember playing “I Spy” when you were a kid? 

Before the “tablet age,” this was a classic parenting tactic to keep children entertained during a long car ride or a grown-up meal in public. My parents would challenge me to find things everywhere we went (like a Where’s Waldo book, but with cooler, non-disclosed objects in real life). As simple as the game was, I’m convinced it trained me to seek, observe, remember, and think about the smallest details from a very young age. 

Think about what you look at. 

Flash forward 15 years to any restaurant or any airplane, and everyone is staring at their phone trying to exist in two places at once, barely living in the moment. Ignoring EVERYONE. Observing NOTHING. 

Ever take time from your busy schedule and rush to a dinner reservation to enjoy time with friends, only to have your head buried in a screen? I’m guilty of this too, but WHY do we all do this?! FOMO? Are we all so busy that small sentences have to become acronyms? (Hey! Look up, I’m talking to you!) 

When you live in the moment, you notice your friend’s hidden engagement ring, or the choice of art hanging on the wall, or the song playing in the background. I am a confessed, total tech geek, but knowing when to put the phone down has helped me connect to life—both personally and professionally.  

During a sales call, the hard-to-find details in the room can often be the secret passageways that lead to an order. What do you look at and what do you look for when you’re in a conference room or someone’s office? Are you so busy “pitching and showing slides” that you forget to look around? Are you staring at your phone in anticipation of the next e-mail or text? No! This is the precise time to be in the moment, look up, and put your “I Spy” skills to work: 

Look around your client’s office, but not just at trophies and family photos. 

• Is there a wrapper of their favorite candy? 

• Do they drink tea or coffee? 

• What publications do they read? 

• Where did they go to school? 

• Do they showcase a certain style of art? 

• Are they well traveled? 

• Do they have a favorite sports team? 

• A favorite hobby? 

• Are they PC or Mac? 

• Android or iPhone?

Take time to examine your surroundings. Search for clues that will help you connect with your client on a more personal level. Find something in common that you can discuss to help build rapport and create the foundation for a successful business relationship. These details add up—all the way to a sale, IF your “spy” glasses and senses are on and your phone is off.  

Don’t just spy IT, spy THEM. Look at and listen to your client’s non-verbal clues—observe their gestures, body language, and eye contact; listen to their questions; and interpret their subtle messages. What are they telling you without saying a word? Are they engaged or in a hurry? Do they let their office line go to voicemail, or do they take the call? Do you think it’s a secret that you’re there, or are you being introduced to people? 

Seeking, observing, and analyzing even the smallest details during a sales call will help you better identify and understand your potential client’s needs. You will gain insight and further understand who they are and how they do business. Your job as an international spy is to use that new knowledge to make a human connection. Your connection will lead to trust, and that trust leads to closing the deal. 

Hey, I spy a sale.

The original post appeared here on Jennifer Gluckow’s website. Her book Sales in a New York Minute: 212 Pages of Real World and Easy to Implement Strategies to Make More Sales, Build Loyal Relationships, and Make More Money is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, 800-CEO-READ.

How to Find the Work You Love by Simon T. Bailey

I am astounded at how many people roll out of bed every day, every week, every month, and every year to work for a company that is subpar in its treatment of its most important asset—people. There is no spark of enthusiasm when the alarm goes off on Monday morning. Why not? Perhaps it’s time for a career audit. You may discover that your job is a liability instead of an asset.  

The University of Phoenix (one of the largest online accredited colleges for working adults) invited me to give the commencement address to an audience of 10,000 people in Atlanta, Georgia. I shared with them that some people graduate from college and settle for a cubicle, a check, and a cup of coffee, only to wake up 20–30 years later to realize that the whole world has shifted. Then there are those who hop from job to job looking to find a fit. Do you know anyone like this? 

Here’s the deal: you were never created to work a job. You were created to find your universal assignment, also known as your life’s work!

A job is what you are paid to do. Releasing Your Brilliance is what you are made to do. 

When you find your life’s work, you will automatically position yourself to become the czar of your field, industry, and marketplace. According to Dictionary.com, a czar is defined as “any person exercising great authority or power in a particular field.” That’s right, I am telling you that it’s time to become the dominant force in your life’s work. 

This current economy is flushing out bad attitudes, lackluster performance, and half-brilliant contributions. I know what you are thinking: How do I find my life’s work? It starts with an honest assessment of the meaning of your life. 

Rihanna and TI encourage you in their platinum hit to “Live Your Life,” but what does that really mean? I know that I just lost half of my boomers with that last statement. Okay, download it from iTunes or Google it to see the words to the song. I interpret it to mean, “I can make my life what I want it to be instead of having others tell me what it should be.” 

Here are some action steps to punch into your system of thinking: 

1. Identify one person you work with who is passionate about their life’s work. Take them to lunch and buy them a meal. Ask them when they knew that they truly were making a life instead of a living. Ask them what steps they took in order to shift gears and pursue being brilliant. 

2. In every organization, 80 percent of the results are generated by 20 percent of the team members. Who are the 20 percent in your organization, industry, or marketplace? If that is not you, then who? How do they think? What do they read? Who are their mentors? What do they listen to? 

3. Invest in a copy of Thank God It’s Monday: How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love by Roxanne Emmerich. This books is a transformational manifesto that will shift your place of business.

The original post appeared here on Simon T. Bailey’s website and has been slightly modified for republication. For more inspiration from the author, pick up a copy of his books Shift Your Brilliance: Harnessing the Power of You, Inc. and Brilliant Living: 31 Insights to Creating an Awesome Life

Achieving a Better Work-Life Blend in 2019 by Jennifer Janechek

In his forthcoming book, Motivate THIS!: How to Start Each Day with an Unstoppable Attitude to Succeed Regardless of Your Circumstances, Steve Rizzo writes: “If you put most of your time and energy into one area, you run the risk of leaving the other unfulfilled. This is especially common among high achievers.” According to Rizzo, it’s important that we dedicate quality time to our work, but a problem arises when this work interferes with what he terms our “cherished values.” Examples he gives of such core values include spending more time with family, establishing technology (and work)-free personal times, and engaging in activities that satisfy our spiritual and emotional needs. 

Rizzo encourages readers to brainstorm what activities feed their spiritual and emotional selves and to shift their priorities so that they can achieve a better work-life blend. Using his prompts, I identified three goals related to my core values: spending more time being fully present with my family (a.k.a. not scrolling Instagram, checking e-mail, or worrying about professional commitments), dedicating time each day to personal enrichment through reading parenting and self-improvement books, and committing to 30 minutes of regular exercise each day. 

Next, I needed to determine how I spend my day and evaluate each of my responsibilities to determine whether they are bringing me closer to, or pushing me away from, my cherished values. Once I mapped out my daily activities, I used Rizzo’s three “free-will will questions” to scrutinize my commitments: 

1. Will there be personal consequences to this choice I’m making? 

2. Will this choice affect others, now and in the future?

3. Will this choice make me happy, now and in the future?  

By applying Rizzo’s free-will will questions to each of my regular activities, I was able to determine which commitments are worth the time they require and which ones could be cut or reorganized in order to free up more time for living out my cherished values. The interesting this is, deep down I already knew which pursuits didn’t align with my core values and needed to be cut, but journaling responses to these questions gave me the motivation I needed to implement much-needed changes. 

So in 2019, I’ll be saying “no” to voluntary side commitments unless they specifically align with my goals; repurposing the time I lose to Internet surfing while I drink my morning coffee, instead dedicating those first 30 minutes of the morning to reading personal development and parenting books; and implementing 2-hour power work sessions, using one work break for a 30-minute workout or running session. 

I am excited to implement these new habits because I firmly believe they will enhance my professional success while also encouraging a significantly better work-life blend. So, win-win, right? I found Rizzo’s book very helpful in enabling me to see that it’s possible—and, in fact, completely necessary—to cultivate both areas of your life at the same time. I hope it will do the same for you! 

Read more advice on how to motivate yourself to identify and live out your values and then shift your priorities accordingly in Steve Rizzo’s Motivate THIS!, available for preorder now. 

What resolutions do you have for 2019? Do any of these relate to work-life balance? If so, how do you plan to shift your priorities to live a life that more directly reflects your cherished values? Share in the comments below!

Motivate THIS!: How to Start Each Day with an Unstoppable Attitude to Succeed Regardless of Your Circumstances will be released on February 19, 2019, but you can preorder your copy now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, and other fine retailers.

Holiday Happiness by Jim Stovall

Everyone wants to have happiness for themselves and their loved ones around the holidays. We wish people “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” and “Happy New Year,” but rarely do we consider what really makes us happy during the holiday season and throughout the year. If you think back on past holiday seasons when you were particularly happy, you will likely discover it had more to do with gifts you gave, people you were with, and activities you enjoyed rather than something you received.  

While it is the season for giving, if we want to make people really happy, we need to look beyond just the standard stuff we buy at the mall, wrap up, and hand to someone. We need to explore the concept of sharing an experience, giving of ourselves, or engaging in a giving activity with our loved ones.  

I often ask people to share with me their favorite holiday memories. Among my favorites are people who recount the experience of going as a family to serve homeless people holiday meals, giving toys or bicycles to less fortunate children, or simply spending quality time with special friends or loved ones. I actually have a friend who received a luxury automobile with a giant bow wrapped around it, parked in the driveway, as a Christmas gift, but when I asked her to share her favorite holiday memory, it involved going through a family photo album with her great aunt.  

We’ve often heard it said but seldom do we act upon the fact that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” In my novel The Ultimate Gift and the movie based on that book, a prominent theme is the gift of giving. This concept is foreign to many people because, with the rush and commercialism during the holiday season, giving can seem like more of a chore or an obligation than a gift.  

We are never too busy to give a kindness, share a memory, or engage in service to others. This time of year, people seem to be worried about spending too much money and overcharging their credit cards, but giving of yourself and sharing memories remain no-cost but priceless elements in the gift of giving.  

As you go through your day today, give the gifts that matter. Share your time and your love. 

Today’s the day! 

This and other motivational pieces by bestselling author Jim Stovall can be found in his latest collection of columns, Wisdom for Winners Volume Four, an official publication of the Napoleon Hill Foundation.

How to Stop Making Excuses and Excel by Adrean Turner

It’s the time of the year when you’ve most likely created a list of resolutions. You are determined that this time will be different. You won’t quit. You won’t get distracted. You’re going to stick with your plan for a new start. However, sadly enough the odds aren’t in your favor. According to U.S. News, approximately 80 percent of resolutions fail by the second week of February. What’s the common denominator? Excuses.  

For most individuals, it’s much easier to think of ways something can’t be done versus how it can be done. Many of us have a series of excuses that we can pull out of a hat at a moment’s notice. We make excuses mostly to protect ourselves and to justify our current circumstances. But these limiting beliefs hinder our chances for success. Consider these excuses and commit to the solutions: 

1. “I DON’T KNOW HOW.” This common excuse gives you permission to not even try.  

• SOLUTION: Get support. At no time in the history of mankind has there been so much information and resources available. Want to start a charity? There are hundreds of books on the subject. Need to lose 100 lbs.? There are thousands of CDs, videos, and blogs to support you. Want to change careers? Consult a coach or mentor. Or simply try and then adjust your approach based on your results. 

2. “I’M AFRAID.” Who hasn’t been afraid to try something new, to step out of the box, to move beyond their comfort zone? Most of our fears are socially based and have no real consequences. 

• SOLUTION: Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen. Once you have determined the worst-case scenarios, you’ll realize that the fear is a disguise to kill your dreams and stifle your growth. Then list the best things that can happen. You’ll recognize that your success is more important than the fears that are holding you back. 

“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and FOCUS on what could go right!”  —Coach Adrean  

3. “I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME.” If your heart is in it, then you will make the time for what’s truly important to you. 

• SOLUTION: Create a list of the things you do on a daily basis from the moment you awaken until the end of the day. Record your activities in 15-minute blocks. Include everything from talking on the phone, surfing the Internet, to watching television. After doing this for one week, most people are able to find at least three hours to dedicate to a new activity or adventure.  

4. “I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.” There is usually a way to work around a lack of financial resources. 

• SOLUTION: Find alternatives. For example, if you’re looking to increase your skills but can’t afford college tuition, there are other ways to enhance your credentials. For instance, volunteer at a nonprofit organization, get certification in a particular skill, or intern for a small company on your days off. If you are a business owner, consider bartering (trading your services or products). There is always a way. You just may have to work a little harder to find solutions to support your growth. 

“If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” —Coach Adrean 

5. “IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME.” It’s never too late to become what you might have been. A person climbed Mount Everest in his eighties. People have gone back to medical school in their sixties. Getting a late start might be less convenient and more challenging, but there’s nothing wrong with that. 

• SOLUTION: Figure out what interests you, influences you, and motivates you. Build a plan for the challenges that are really important to you and take one step at a time to complete your goals. 

6. “IT’S TOO HARD.” Some endeavors are certainly more difficult than others. But claiming that something is “too hard” is really just another way of admitting that you’re afraid. People with limited resources and talent can still be extremely successful. 

• SOLUTION: Set your mind on success! Those with motivation and stamina are really the ones who succeed. Get an accountability partner. Read encouraging stories. Practice affirmations. Do what’s necessary to keep your thoughts and energy centered on a successful outcome. 

“The way you eat an elephant is one bite at a time.” —Coach Adrean 

Your success is dependent on effort. No action, no results. Break your tasks into small assignments and keep going until you’ve achieved your goal. It’s time to make some changes. Transformation isn’t always easy, but it is necessary for your success. Remind yourself of the reasons why you started in the first place. And have the courage to put aside your excuses and go after what you truly want. You’ll be glad you did! 

Train your brain to take actions to make your goals a reality through positive thinking. Download Power Thoughts with self-reflection activities to stay F.I.T.™ (Fearless. Inspired. Transformed.) and gain greater success. 

This post originally appeared here on www.coachadrean.com. Get more information and inspiration in Adrean’s book, F.I.T. for Success: Fearless, Inspired, Transformed for Success.

Accountability Creates Sanctuary by Sam Silverstein

I run into a lot of leaders who mislead themselves—without realizing that’s what’s happening. Here’s how they do it. They say things like “My people aren’t creative—we need to get a creativity expert in here to talk to them.” Or: “My people aren’t great problem-solvers—they need to get better at problem-solving. Go find me a program that will help them improve their problem-solving.” 

Here’s the disconnect. Nine times out of ten, the problem is not with the team. The problem is with the leader!  

Specifically, the problem is a leader who focuses on responsibility before focusing on accountability. Let me explain what I mean by that. We have responsibility to things like assignments and job descriptions. But we have accountability to people…and one of the critical leadership accountabilities is being a SANCTUARY for others. For many leaders, this is a brand new concept, so let me break it down.  

Responsible vs. Accountable 

As the leader, I may hire you to be creative and to solve problems…and as a result, you have those responsibilities. But even if you do, I am accountable to you to create a safe place within the organization where you can operate and successfully produce the results that we both want. If I don’t do that, the fault lies with me…not with you. 

Why is the team failing to create good ideas? Maybe it’s because they don’t yet have a safe place to share good ideas. Maybe they believe (with good cause) that if they suggest an idea, and it’s perceived as being off the mark, they will pay a price. Maybe they aren’t yet sure they won’t be ridiculed, or even worse, for coming up with a bad idea. And if I’m the leader…that’s my issue. That’s the culture I’ve created. That’s a failure of leadership. 

Why is the team struggling with problem-solving? Maybe it’s because they don’t have a safe place to try and fail to solve a problem. Maybe they’ve come to believe (again, with cause) that it’s safer to accept the status quo and find an expensive or time-consuming way to live with the problem than it is to risk trying something new. Maybe they’ve seen too many people being penalized for actually trying something new. And if I’m the leader …again, that’s first and foremost a problem with my leadership. 

If you are a leader, you are accountable to the people you lead for creating a safe space in the relationship. 

The Highest Form of Leadership 

I call this safe place SANCTUARY—a word I realize most leaders aren’t familiar with or even comfortable with in a business context.   

Creating a SANCTUARY space in our relationships means doing way more than saying “Welcome aboard—let me know if you have any problems.” In a SANCTUARY relationship, leaders make four specific commitments to people. 

• CARE. I demonstrate that I genuinely care about your growth as a person—by my actions, not just my words. I support you to the best of my ability in your personal aspirations. I care for and value you as a human being, not as a means to an end. Not only that—I value all people in the organization, without making distinctions based on superficial things like how they look or dress. You count on me not to get distracted by the differences but to focus on you as an individual. 

• VULNERABILITY. I make it clear that you have strengths and capacities that I don’t. I don’t pretend to have all the answers or be able to do everything myself. If you didn’t have strengths and capacities that I was lacking, why would I hire you?  When I acknowledge to you that I have weaknesses or need improvement in certain areas, I make it easier for us to collaborate and communicate as equals. 

• TRUST. I trust you to make certain decisions, and I don’t second-guess you. Assuming you operate within the boundaries we both agree to—our values—I never penalize you for making a decision that I wouldn’t have made. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t have hired you in the first place. I assume you are trustworthy until you prove otherwise. 

• RESPECT. I don’t belittle you, in public or in private. I don’t talk bad about you behind your back. As a matter of fact, I look at you with reverence and esteem, and I see real worth in you as a human being, a person just like me. 

Those four commitments—Care, Vulnerability, Trust, and Respect—add up to the safe space I call SANCTUARY.  

Remember: It’s not up to your employees to make you feel safe. You need to make them feel safe first! 

Consider yourself accountable to create a true SANCTUARY relationship with each and every person in your organization. This will have a profound positive effect on your culture—and your results. If you ignore or sabotage SANCTUARY, you will eventually find the results challenging!  

If that ever happens, don’t mislead yourself about what’s happening. Start by fixing the real problem. Maintain full accountability to the people you lead for the quality of the workplace relationship…and become a SANCTUARY for your team! This is the highest form of leadership.

Sam Silverstein is dedicated to empowering people to live accountable lives, transform the way they do business, and create a more accountable world. He helps companies create an organizational culture that prioritizes and inspires accountability. His most recent book in the No More Excuses series, No Matter What: The 10 Commitments of Accountability, is available now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, 800-CEO-READ, and other fine retailers.

“Lead the Field Literally Changed My Viewpoint on Life”: An Interview with Dr. Sarbari Gupta, CEO of Electrosoft by Jennifer Janechek

A month or so ago, I came across an article in the WashingtonExec about Dr. Sarbari Gupta, CEO of the technology company Electrosoft. In it, she says that Earl Nightingale’s Lead the Field audio program “literally changed [her] viewpoint on life when [she] first heard it in 1995 and motivated [her] to take bolder steps toward [her] goals in life.” Sound Wisdom recently published a beautiful print edition of Lead the Field, so I reached out to Dr. Gupta to learn more about how Nightingale’s work shaped her life and career. She was kind enough to chat with me over the phone, sharing many of her own success strategies as well as those that she gleaned from Nightingale’s audio program.  

Tell our readers a little bit about yourself and how you got started in the field you’re in. 

I grew up in India and came to the United States to do graduate studies in electrical engineering. In graduate school, I took various courses in what was then called “information assurance/computer security” (now cybersecurity), and several of my master’s courses focused on cybersecurity-related topics. My first job after grad school was at Trusted Information Systems. During this time, I received a postcard advertising an audiotape of this program, Lead the Field. The marketing must have been intriguing enough that I signed up for it and ended up receiving a packet of maybe six audiotapes.  

Nightingale’s delivery really motivated me and started me thinking about concepts like attitude. I started talking to contacts and discovered an opportunity to move to IBM to do some groundbreaking work in the cybersecurity arena. To some extent this tape prompted me to keep my eyes and ears open. Sure enough, opportunities came up for me to grab, including this move to IBM. But I always had this desire to be my own boss, and in many ways Nightingale’s principles helped me chart my course toward founding Electrosoft.  

Lead the Field has often been referred to as the “Program of Presidents” because so many top executives have incorporated Earl Nightingale’s insight and guidance into their management philosophies. How did Lead the Field shape your management philosophy or your work philosophy in general? 

In the first chapter, “The Magic Word,” the lesson about attitude changed how I interacted with my family and colleagues. I have continuously applied the principle of integrity, the seed for achievement, in my life. It has had a strong influence on my management philosophy, especially the idea of the person on the white horse—that whoever is the leader is setting the example; there’s no hiding. On a personal level, I’ve found “The Miracle of Your Mind” chapter very beneficial—getting out an empty sheet of paper in the morning, focusing on the most important question, and coming up with answers. It’s true, as Nightingale suggests, that when you key in on a question at the beginning of the day, your subconscious will often be at work, trying to find an answer to it. And those answers will come to you, often at odd times of the day! 

What qualities do you think are most necessary for success in business, especially as an entrepreneur and/or manager?  

More than anything else, resilience. You need to be able to bounce back after things like opportunities falling through. Integrity is another word I take very seriously. People need to see integrity to trust you. Also, goal setting—people who succeed have goals. Like Nightingale points out in one of his anecdotes, being a bricklayer might be a tedious job, but if you can envision the whole thing, then you’ll have the drive to build it. 

Do you have any advice to budding entrepreneurs about what sorts of things they should be doing to position themselves well to succeed? 

Networking is No. 1. Careers are made or broken by who you know and who respects you. Whenever you can, get to know people in your field, establish a relationship with them, and build on that. Take your work seriously. Do a good job in everything that you undertake. The impression you’re making today matters. You could encounter the same people in the future. If you give a positive impression that earns their respect—you put your heart into it, do a good job, etc.—you could meet them twenty years later and they might remember that they were impressed with you. It can make it easier to establish a business relationship later on. Demonstrate a good work ethic. Don’t ever think that senior people aren’t keeping an eye on you. Keep making a good impression, attend to matters of professionalism—dress, attitude, whatever it is. It just helps in the long run.  

In terms of readying yourself to be an entrepreneur, try to get different types of experiences. Seek jobs with exposure to the sales side of things, or the financial aspects of a business. Do this in a low-risk environment where you’re still an employee, learning on the job; then you’ll feel more confident that you can set things up for yourself down the road.

About Sarbari Gupta

Dr. Sarbari Gupta has been active in the information security industry for over twenty years. She possesses broad-based knowledge and experience in the areas of cybersecurity, privacy, and cryptographic solutions. Dr. Gupta, who holds a PhD degree in Electrical Engineering and CISSP and CISA certifications, has authored over twenty technical papers/presentations in refereed conferences/journals and several chapters in cybersecurity books. In addition, she has co-authored several NIST Special Publications in the areas of Electronic Authentication, Security Configuration Management, and Mobile Credentials and holds four patents in areas of cryptography. Dr. Gupta is the founder, CEO, and president of Electrosoft, a provider of technology-based services and solutions with a special focus on cybersecurity.

About Electrosoft Services Inc.

Electrosoft, headquartered in Reston, Virginia, delivers a diversified set of technology-based solutions and services to federal, civilian, and defense agencies. They couple domain knowledge and experience with proven, mature management practices to design and deliver the right solutions on time and within budget. Their practices include an ISO 9001:2015 registered Quality Management System and Capability Maturity Model Integration (CMMI) Level 3 assessed processes. Founded in 2001, Electrosoft is an 8(a) certified Small Disadvantaged Business (SDB) and an 8(m) certified Economically Disadvantaged Woman-Owned Small Business (EDWOSB). For more information about Electrosoft, visit their website at www.electrosoft-inc.com.

Get your copy of Lead the Field now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, 800-CEO-READ, and other fine retailers. Also available in the Earl Nightingale Series is The Direct Line, and The Direct Line Workbook is forthcoming in December.

The Art of Influence by Jim Stovall

This week, I am—once again—enjoying the privilege of having one of my books being released into the marketplace around the world. I have written well over forty books, and all of them are special in some way. This title, The Art of Influence, is certainly no exception. This is the first book I have written since receiving the Napoleon Hill award for literary achievement.  When you accept an award that bears the name of the greatest writer in your field, the only way you can put it into perspective is to consider it as a challenge to be lived up to in the future as opposed to deserved recognition for something you may have done in the past.  

The gold medal was presented to me by my friend and mentor, Don Green, who is the Executive Director of The Napoleon Hill Foundation. Don is a modern-day embodiment of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich message. The Art of Influence is my fourth collaboration with my esteemed coauthor Dr. Raymond Hull. Ray and I seem to be the perfect blend of actual real-world experience and academic expertise. When I think of The Art of Influence and how we are all influenced here in the 21st century, I am mindful of the powerful influence of individuals like Napoleon Hill, Don Green, and Ray Hull. 

Napoleon Hill was born in the 19th century, changed the world in the 20th century with his landmark book Think and Grow Rich, and continues to shape our culture here in the 21st century. Don Green is among those rare and gifted individuals who see the value in someone else’s work and dedicate themselves to extending the scope and depth of their legacy. Generations of people yet to be born will experience the power of Napoleon Hill’s work because of Don Green. Dr. Hull exercises influence in a university setting as a teacher. This is among the highest callings anyone can accept, and people like Ray change the world one student at a time.  

Influence can be either good or bad, and it can be overt or subtle. We are all being influenced, and we are all influencing others every day. If we learn something, we change our world; if we teach something, we change another person’s world; but if we teach people to teach, we can change the whole world.

Learn from Napoleon Hill, Don Green, and Ray Hull as you take control of all the influences in your life, become your best self, and share it with a world sorely in need of powerful and positive influences. 

As you go through your day today, consider the potential, and practice the art of influence. 

Today’s the day!

Jim Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books, including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK  74145-9082; by e-mail at Jim@JimStovall.com; on Twitter at www.twitter.com/stovallauthor; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jimstovallauthor. His latest book, coauthored with Raymond H. Hull, is The Art of Influence. It can be purchased from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, 800-CEO-READ, and other fine retailers.

Employer Generosity: Sound Wisdom Readers Share Their Experiences by Jennifer Janechek

Recently someone shared a story about how a new employer gifted her daughter with a coveted Peloton bike as a “welcome aboard” present—something to energize her daughter’s new work-at-home routine. I was stunned by this extravagant act of generosity on the part of a small business owner. Immediately, I wanted to know what other employers were similarly using gifts and incentives as a way to make their employees feel valued and motivated. Below are some experiences shared by Sound Wisdom readers.  

“I have been sent flowers, gift cards, Etsy items, books [as random gifts]. I also have received a free Fitbit, mini iPad, health products, and two free vacations [as rewards for sales]. I feel VERY valued!” 

“My employer is great about this. A few years back when we hit a big corporate milestone they surprised every employee with an iPad.” 

“My entire department has been so incredibly supportive through my pregnancy and now postpartum. They bought my girl gifts, threw a shower/celebration, and even bought a changing table for our bathroom.” 

“My husband got an unexpected $500 bonus from his work!” 

“At my former school the elementary principal would treat us with Frappuccino Fridays.” 

“When I worked at [a] bank, they often sent me thank you notes of appreciation. Also, employees who worked behind the scenes were often sent gift cards and/or thank you notes from other employers for their help.” 

“At a small, family-owned coffee shop I used to work at, my boss not only gave us Christmas bonuses, but she also gave me a birthday gift (a gift certificate for a night out with [my husband]), and when I moved, she and her husband gave me $100 cash and a kind note.” 

“I’ve been working for a wonderful, family-owned real estate company for the last 3 years running the office. We bought a new house over the summer that is over an hour away from the office, and my husband and I talked about finding a way that I could work from home to avoid the commute, but also to have a better work/life balance. I didn’t know what that would look like, but I called the owner of the company one day and told him I love working for them and I love what I do, but the direction my family was heading required something different, and I was hoping there was something I could do to remain a part of the company but work remotely. He told me basically ‘yes absolutely, we will make this happen as we don’t want to lose you.’ They created a brand-new position that I can do from home, which is very much an exception to the employee rule, and it made me feel really valued and appreciated.” 

It was clear from the myriad responses I received (not all appearing here) that employer generosity was not as rare as you might think in today’s world. It was also evident that the employees who had been the recipients of random—or even regular—acts of kindness by their employers felt valued by them, and this translated into added value to the company. Even if it was something as simple as “Free Chipotle Fridays” for the teachers at a particular public school, this demonstration of appreciation improved employee morale in a way that more than outweighed the expenses incurred by the organization. 

Have you had a similar positive experience with an employer? Or are you an employer who engages in such acts of generosity? Share below! Also, as an employee, what kinds of incentives/rewards would you like to see from your employer in the future? Comment below with details!

Why Training Fails: The Shocking Truth That Most Leaders Don’t Even Know by Shawn Doyle, CSP

I have been involved in training, speaking, and consulting for 28 years, and the same issues have been present all along. In this article, I want to share with you the 11 main reasons why training fails. The shocking truth is there is a lot of money spent but tons wasted because of the barriers organizations have in place around training. 

1. No one tells them why they are doing the training. When I am facilitating a training program and I ask people why they are there, the No. 1 answer by far is “because my manager told me to be in the training.” In the majority of the cases they are not told why. Solution: Mangers should tell people the reason why they are in the training.  

2. Training is as boring as watching paint dry. In today’s world of instant entertainment, if they are not entertained they check out quickly. People tell me all the time that most training programs are  very boring. Solution: Train internal people on how to facilitate great training or hire an outside expert. 

3. Training is a legal requirement or is policy driven. Many organizations have certain training programs that are required like safety training and sexual harassment avoidance. Because they are mandatory, people feel like they are being punished and resent being there. Solution: Each manger should explain to their team how the training will help them and the company. If people understand why the training is important, they are much more likely to go along with it. 

4. There is not enough time for training. When I am talking to a client about training and they ask me how long a program is and I say “a full day,” they want me to do it in a half day. If I say “a half day” they want me to do it in two hours. There are no effective shortcuts to effective training. Solution: Budget the time as an investment to help people learn. 

5. There is no training at all. I am simply amazed that there are so many organizations that don’t train people at all. They use the world-famous “just follow Fred around for a week” and rely on other people to show new employees the ropes. Solution: Every new employee should have an initial training program for orientation.   

6. The company uses a subject matter expert for the training. Just because someone is a SME does not mean they can teach the subject to others. Solution: Be careful whom you select for training. They need to be both a SME and an expert at training. 

7. The company thinks that education is training. Education is learning about something. Training is learning how to do it. I can learn all about feeding lions at the  zoo, but if I’m going to do it I need to be trained on how to do it or I will face dire consequences. Solution: Make sure the outcome of training is that people can do what they need to do. 

8. The company thinks that training has to occur in a classroom. There are many different ways to train someone, and it doesn’t have to be in a classroom. We can mentor, coach, have on-the-job training; we can rotate job assignments to cross-train; or someone can study a how-to guide. Solution: Find other creative ways to train people. 

9. The employees find the training to be goofy. I have seen some activities in training that, to me, belonged in a Kindergarten class. When training exercises are too juvenile, people will stop learning. Solution: Know your team, and don’t have exercises that are too childish. 

10. There is no follow up. Many people attend training, and then they are done. Their manager doesn’t meet with them to see how the training went and discuss what they learned. The retention or information goes way down when they only talk about something once. Solution: Every manager should talk with their direct reports within two weeks of the training to discuss what they learned and develop an action plan. 

11. The employees think that training is an event. Many people think of training as an event. The reality is that great training should be a process, with many elements involved. This helps organizations implement changes as a result of the training. Solution: Have better training plans and know how they all relate together.  

Thinking about all of these elements and how they fit together will make sure that you don’t waste your training dollars.  

For more business and personal development insight from Shawn Doyle, check out his titles from Sound Wisdom, including his Jumpstart Series, The Sun Still Rises, The Leadership Manifesto, and Two Months to Motivation.